I don't want to hate my dad?

Hate to break it to you, but it's not possible to change another person. If he does not want to change, there is nothing you can do about having a "normal" family (whatever that is). You need to make the best of this bad situation by controlling what you can control - yourself. Try to focus on your reactions to him, your attitude, and your own life. Do the very best that you can not to let his abuse bring you down and let go of the fantasy that everyone can have a stable home life with loving, doting parents. I wish you the best of luck. Things are often better once you're removed from the abusive situation. I have a much more positive relationship with my family now that I do not live with them and I can interact with them on my terms.